Wow a month

I prayed for so much work for Mothers Day I asked everyone to pray for me. I needed the work.....bills were piling up, I was hiding from people. Monday my wholesaler leaves me a note in my flowers if you don't pay 2500 by Wed no flowers. A friend calls she also has a shop she was too busy to take the event. Could I do it. Certainly.....look God is answering my prayer and I have been praying for Mothers Day so maybe that will be a great day too. I did the event and made enough to give everyone a little money a little breathing room. Not enough to be out of trouble not enough for me to walk away feeling safe but I should ......look God provided and in a way that was easier for me to make a whole bunch of deliveries to just one place. Thank you God. He shall provide for all our needs.
Faith wains so often. Where am I to be Lord. I ask myself that so often, I do not know if God is saying stay wait or is that what I just want to hear. Lord let my heart be opened to your will not what I want your will to be
Lately I have been trying to faithfully pray for my Childrens future mates if the Lord leaves us hear that long. Do you do that ????? How amazing to pray for a help mate someone who loves the Lord ..... someone who will share that love of our amazing Saviour. I love my kids I am so grateful to have them I can not imagine my life without them. Thank you Jesus for these 2 amazing gifts and when I am tired and struggling help me to remember they are your children

It has been a while...but since I have not told anyone that I blog ... no one ever bugs me about posting :)

Life has been tough lately, I am really just struggling right now. We had workers supposed to be fixing our kitchen and bathroom and they did such a non my dad job, I just wanted to call and tell him what they were doing and I was not able too. I also am just too tired to fight with them to do the j0b properly... They told me it was a rental but it may be a rental but its our HOME.

I am really just trying to be thankful. THankful that I am healthy and the kids are healthy and we have survived all that we have and still are. Thankful for a heavenly Father and an earthly father that is now pain free.

I have so many questions lately that I never really wondered about Heaven. He said to the thief that today you will be with me in paradise, but he also tells us the dead are asleep in Jesus and that when the trumpet shout the dead in Christ will arise first. So where are they. I do not believe in Pergatory..... so where is my dad.

Anyway really do not have much to say just wanted to touch base.

Have a wonderful Easter and enjoy the fact that our Saviour Lives

Wow 2 posts in 2 days. As I sit here at my computer, little feet patter up and so sweetly ask for some orange juice. Kind words for a tired momma. It has been a long week, full of tiredness and emotions. Struggling to make all the ends meet and work. Children who feel my stress and react with bad behavior, momma's tired and does not handle it well. Sometimes its hard to do this alone. God's natural order is for 2 parents for when one falls the other can lift him up. When I fall who is there. Maybe not a physical person but God is (and my poor mom who has to listen to me cry 25o0 miles away). But I yearn for the physical embrace of a partner someone to hold me at night and hug all my fears away. But God can do that, but do I allow him to. Maybe this is my path until I decide (open my heart) that he is all I really need. My grace is sufficient for thee. Help me be open to your loving arms and not be looking for comfort from expectations.
Life is hard, but many are much worse of than I am. I have my health and the kids health we have a place to lay our heads. We have a loving Father in heaven who is watching over us, taking care of us, and ultimately building us a place for eternity that will never have any of the problems we face here on earth.

The Lord Bless us and Keep us and give us Peace. Praying for the peace that passeth all understanding.

One week ago today

One week ago today at 10:38 am est my father entered into the presense of our Lord. We were able to say good bye. I have lost my father and my children have lost their pop pops and my mother has lost her husband of 42 years. We knew it was coming, still it is so sad to think of all the things we will not be able to do with him. He passed away on his 70th birthday. A mile stone he wanted to make. I know thathe wanted a birthday party, we wanted to give it to him here on earth, God wanted to give him one in heaven, which I am sure surpassed anything we could have done. I was able to say Goodbye and tell him everything I needed to.
How was I so blessed to have parents that have prayed for me and loved me and taught me the things that are important. God first. Parents who took me to Sunday School and to the Remebrance of the Lord on Sundays, Christian school, bible conference, and Camps. What a difference if it was not this way. But our parents can not choose for us to be Christians to follow the Lord, its a path we must choose for ourselves. I made tht choice long ago and have strayed from it often. The Lord has brought me back often on my knees. Someone sent me a note saying how he does not refine us using anesthesia but often the hard way, I know that is how I have and its also how I have learned. Lord help me to stand up and stand strong and walk with you whatever the path YOU have chosen for me to go. Thank you for my parents. Let me be an example to my children that my parents were to me. Please Lord let the circle be unbroken.

What do I have to say today. We went and got Max's haircut for our trip to NJ can not let everyone think we are too hippyish.

I have had a really low time this week, I just get stuck in my own head..... but Friday Max and I went to the beach while much to Olivia's unhappiness she was at school ( I am raising beach bums) It just grounds me, we ran and played and swang. Looking at the ocean I do not understand how anyone could not believe in our awesome GOD. Its so amazing and powerful and peaceful too. I pray that I never live to far from the ocean. (I think I have some salt water in the blood)

I am learning to trust still and its all I need to do. Have faith walk and not run. Sometimes its a crawl but it is forward motion !!!!!!

Life is Good, we are healthy, my kids are healthy, We have a loving God he is all we need

Valentines Day

Well it has definitely been a week. My cooler broke and my poor doggies both got colitis and it was Valentines Day on a saturday of a long weekend. Not the day I was needing, but the Lord provided what he we needed. (At first I wrote what he thought we needed but apptly put would be what I thought he needed to provide) unfortunately I was praying for different outcome. But he is in charge.
I survived and I paid a bill he just keeps me on such a tight leash its good for me makes me walk by faith (which I still struggle with) Sometimes my struggle is brief and then I realize we are nestled in the palm of our hand, he is our Shephard none shall pluck us out of his hand. We are safe we are loved we are where we need to be.

Lord let me be content!!! let me hold on!!!! let me walk in faith!!!!

Thank you Jesus for your love and kindness, for my children, for being raised in a Christian family, for parents who have spent many times on their knees on my behalf.

Thank you Jesus that I have been chosen

A new day

Its funny. I often feel lonely but lately I have had the pleasure of emailing 2 very old friends and its amazing how good it felt to "talk" to them again.

I feel so cold in my worship lately, I want to feel like talking to the Lord is like talking to an old friend. But right now I am just doing it. Reading, praying but I want to feel alive like coming to his word and kneeling in prayer is more than just an action.

We have so many blessings from above and we have so much to be thankful for may we never forget that he brings so many blessings and knowing him is such a honor and a privilege and not something that should be done but something we yearn to do.

My prayer is for the yearning again